'Somewhere In Between'

“Finding people who think the way you think. Finding people who inspire you to think beyond the way you think now. Friends who don’t let you settle. Friends who help you discover new things and who you’d like to be in the future. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

For most artists, there is a degree of aloneness to childhood. You are the bright shining child full of ideas and art and you soon learn that not many other people see the world as you do. Hopefully, you avoided this often painful discovery. If not, you learned to dim yourself a bit in order to fit in with the rest.

Now…it’s time to shine. Stop trying to fit in. There is no need to do this anymore.” - Eileen Connolly, Faculty NYCDA.

I’ve sneakily taken these first few paragraphs from the NYCDA’S blog so my first thanks goes to them!

I found this really interesting when I read it and anyone else who is of creative mind might feel it relates to them too- I know I certainly felt that it was written for me and gives me reassurance that there are other people who think the same way as I do…a bit cliché maybe, but its motivational nonetheless...so in my entry this week I am going to go slightly transparent, just for a while, wear my heart on my sleeve and give an insight into how I really feel…well….maybe...just a little bit...!!

The past couple of weeks have been fairly busy for myself as usual but it’s also been a period of reflection for me too- particularly this week, so forgive me if I ramble as I suppose I’m using this latest entry as a ‘note to self’ but maybe others might find it interesting too :)

In relation to Eileen Connolly’s entry- unfortunately I did not ‘avoid this painful discovery’ instead I tried to fit in with my surroundings and the people around me because I was ‘different’ and was made aware of it on a regular basis. Now, as I’ve got older I’ve learnt that being different is what makes me who I am and I’m thankful that I’m not like anyone else and that I still haven’t given up on my dream and my ambition for the sake of what other people think.

I must admit though that I do find it frustrating when I talk to people who have never known what they’ve wanted to do with their lives and who have no dream. I find it quite disheartening that I can’t understand how it is for them and realise how they must feel when I talk about the things that I want to do, knowing that they can’t understand how it feels to want something as bad as I want to follow my ambition of becoming a successful movie star :)

Take for example a conversation that I had with someone this week, it went as follows:

“So the acting things really cool, I like how even though you’re working such long hours to save up and stuff that you’re still trying to get castings and meetings with agents.

I’m sooo jealous.

Ya know I’ve done some modelling but that like never really worked out…I mean it’s really competitive there’s just no point is there?

Maybe I’ll go into acting, I mean it can’t be that hard can it?

So now the New York things kinda fallen through….

(This was followed by a VERY unimpressed look from myself)

….I mean, I know you like, still wanna go and stuff- and I’m sure you will, but like, shouldn’t you be trying to get a career now? ‘Cause you’re 22- should be climbing a career ladder or something now, right??!”

The funny thing was that this person said this very innocently and I don’t believe they meant anything by it but they managed to disregard my profession and all I’ve ever wanted to do in one sentence! I do actually love it when people say things like this though, because it only makes me want to prove them wrong even more!

It also goes to show that this person will never make it if they go into the industry with that attitude- I wish them the best of luck.

I remember back when I was at college, our drama tutor at the time told us that 90% of actors are out of work….my answer to this was- so who’s to say that I won’t be in that 10%??

I know that a lot of my actor friends are getting disheartened with the lack of auditions and jobs around at the moment.

Due to the recession like most things- the entertainment industry has been hit hard :(
To these friends- keep the faith, the motivation, and we will one day be in that 10%!

So this week was pretty eventful, I had a casting for a commercial (although I can’t say which brand it was for!) But I will say that the proposed buy out fee that they are offering the chosen actress would help significantly towards my New York fund!

I’m still waiting to hear back so if everyone keeps their fingers crossed for me then I would be most grateful!

I’m still working my long 7-6 shifts at New Look which is tough but it’s all good money and I do actually like my job so it could be worse!

Still working hard on customising clothing for people- get in touch if you want anything done/made- remember Christmas is not too far off!!

And next week I have a make-up job so it’s all go at the moment, but to be honest I don’t think I’d have it any other way!!

And finally…..

In Eileen’s entry she writes:

“Finding people who think the way you think. Finding people who inspire you to think beyond the way you think now.”

It is only now, as I am writing, that I realise that in just the last 2 weeks I have seen/spent time with all the people who I count as close friends- some who I see regularly and some who I don’t see as much as I’d like, but who have all believed and never doubted me- the people who inspire me to think beyond the way I think now :)

This blog is a dedication to all of these friends and to the people who continually offer me their support, interest and encouragement, so a massive thanks to you all!

Much Love,

Emily

The dream lives on....

"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it". - Jonathan Winters


...And swim out to it I shall!


Hello!

So I am officially the worst at updating the old blog but I have good reason for this.......now do you want the good news? Or the bad first?

Lets go for the bad....
But first a brief update for those of you who have only just started following!

Lots of you have been following my blog :)
I've been overwhelmed with the amount of interest, kind words, support and donations I have received for my big apple adventure (Thank you!)


So, The New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts amazingly offered me a place on their two year course in acting for television and film. Unfortunately I couldn't afford to go in August (I need roughly £60000 for two years!) but they very kindly offered me a place on the same course next year...however next year means January 2010....

Sadly, I wasn't one of the British winners of the £45000'000 prize money from the Euromillions jackpot the other night...think I need to pick different numbers next time..... ;) .....anyways, I won't be going in January either :(

Good news?? Ok, now for the good stuff :)

The good news is that the NYCDA have been amazingly supportive throughout (makes me want to go there even more!!)
I have been invited to re-audition in March 2010, I'm hoping that I may be able to audition for their scholorship too which would help with the money side of things.
If anyone has any advice/good audition pieces they think I could use then please get in touch!

By no means is this the end of my dream to study in New York, the people who know me best will know that I'm the most ambitious and determined lady they know ;)

I believe that persistence pays, if you want something bad enough whether it be in work, love or just life in general it will happen- just never give up on your dreams and aspirations.
Someone once told me that the only person from stopping you from doing anything is yourself... never give yourself limitations- you've got to aim high!

My dream to become a successful actress will be fufilled one day (just not as soon as I originally planned!) Once again a massive thank you to everyone who has been supporting me, I am continuing with the fundraising for next year (as advised by the school- I feel extremely privileged to have their support and just knowing that such an establishment believes in my abilities and potential as an actress is amazing in itself).


I would also like to take this opportunity to mention that very sadly, I found out yesterday that my old GCSE drama teacher from Imberhorne- Mrs Gasson- has passed away after suffering from lung cancer.

She was one of a few people that stand out to me as always being supportive of my abilities, giving me encouragement and constructive criticism in all my performances at school.

I think she played a fundemental role in me deciding on what I wanted to do as a career- despite objections from other teachers/people who thought I should consider choosing 'a real job' to aim for!
I wasn't a fan of school (who was?!)- but I loved my drama lessons :)
My thoughts go out to her family and friends.

Thank you for following, and despite being an:

11-hour-day-working-lady-who-customizes-clothes-in-her-spare-time-tries-to-get-castings-trying-to-learn-guitar-get-make-up-jobs-and-have-some-kind-of-a-life....I will try to update my blog more often :) hahaha!!

Hope you enjoyed reading :)

Feeling Inspired...

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always Remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world".

Harriet Tubman

Hello everyone!!

Ok, I apologise, I know I'm totally rubbish as I haven't updated the blog recently...but to make up for it prepare for more posts than usual this week!

I would like to say a HUUUUGGEE thank you to everyone who has donated money to me- £15.00 raised so far!!

Not quite enough to get me to the Big Apple but that's way more money than I expected, so thank you I can't express how much everyone's support means to me.

If you know of anyone who would be interested in this blog/ would like to donate £1 or however much then send them my way (Paypal link at bottom of page).

So this week I've been trying to think of ways to earn some extra cash:

I'm a skilled make-up artist so been busy trying to get more make-up jobs (anyone need a make-up artist for anything then please drop me an e-mail!)

I also customise/make clothes for people, again if you want to see pics of previous stuff/want stuff made, then drop me a message :)

I also set myself the challenge this week of trying to teach myself guitar...in the hope that one day I could go out and do some busking haha and earn some dollar that way :)

umm but let's just say it didn't go too well...

Lesson 1: Guitar strings break easier than I originally thought...

Lesson 2: Playing guitar and having nice nails just doesn't happen...

Lesson 3: Bit on guitar that I don't know the name of has broken...therefore can't play until its fixed but more than likely I'll have to buy a whole new one... :(

Clearly I'm not going to be the next female Jimi Hendrix....but I'll definately give it a go!!

Juggling all this with a full time job, trying to get more castings and writing more letters to people is pretty hard- particularly when you keep getting rejected by grants organisations who all keep saying the same, infuriating thing-

"Unfortunately we are unable to help you on this occasion. If you had written to us last year then we may have been able to help, but due to the current economical climate we are unable to..."

It's hard enough that they can't help me, but worse when they say if I'd applied a year earlier then I might have been eligible for something! - Im not going to lie, Im definatly feeling the strain!

To keep me motivated I've been trying to find some interesting and inspiring quotes (most of which have come from the NYCDA's blog so I would like to thank Charlie for his inspirational posts!!)

One that I have found particularly helpful- and that other people might find useful too- is this:

"It's not about how you win, it's about how you come back when you lose. How do you get up off the ground when knocked down?... Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom...."

So here's my challenge to you- or more of a fun thing I suppose :)

If anyone has any funny or motivational quotes to keep me going then send them my way- they would be much appreciated!!

I hope you all have a good week and I will keep you updated with more news/ info on what I've been up to!

Thank you to everyone who has read or who regularly follows my blog and especially to the people who have donated money to my cause- lets all make this dream a reality!!!

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=8511246

Dream With Me?

"When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality...."

- Dom Helder Camera

Hey everyone, hope you have all had a great weekend!

So here is my latest update as promised, although slightly later than originally planned- it's been one busy week!!

Firstly I would like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has donated money so far, I have been absolutely astounded by the amount of interest and generosity people have shown, so thank you!!

I still have a long way to go til I reach my goal but you have brought me that little bit closer to making my dream a reality :)

So this week I have been a pretty busy lady- I had a casting on Friday so lots of script reading, and I've been writing more letters in the hope that some organisations/individuals would be able to lend me some money for the course and also getting the government to change a few things...

At the moment I am not eligible for any kind of funding/student loan as I will be studying outside of the UK (seems perfectly understandable to me) BUT it's a little bit unfair as I know that students who come into the UK from overseas can be eligible for state funding... this makes me a tad frustrated!

I wrote to my local MP- The Hon Nicholas Soames who forwarded my case onto the Minister for Education, and yesterday I received a letter from the House of Commons...

I am still uneligible for any student loan/state funding...

BUT since I have brought my situation to their attention they have realised that more needs to be done in helping people who want to study overseas and are going to try and get more banks involved with the Professional Career Development Loan scheme (at the moment only two banks are involved so makes it harder for people to obtain them)

and make it easier for people to try and further their careers....which in the present economical climate is a pretty good RESULT!!

Ok so might not help me out that much but if I can help other people in the process then that's a major result in my eyes :)

There are still lots of people who I am awaiting replys from, and if anyone has any ideas on who else I could write to (anyone got Simon Cowell's address???) I would be exremely grateful!

I'm still coming up with ideas for money raising events so again any ideas/suggestions are most welcome :)

Once again thanks for all the support guys it seriously means a lot....and

if you know of anyone who woud be interested in following my quest or who would perhaps like to lend me a £1 then send them this way! (Paypal link at the bottom of this post)

Have a good week :)

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=8184528

Hello!

Ok so in response to the very kind comments, enouragement and support that I've received so far, I have decided to set up a 'New York Fund' where people can- if they want to- generously donate £1 (or however much they want!) via Paypal.

I added a link at the bottom (I tried to add a Paypal Donate button to my blog but can't seem to get it to work so if anyone knows how to do this I would be grateful if you could let me know!!)

My aim being that hopefully I manage to find 64'000 lovely people to generously donate £1....haha so maybe that might be pushing it slightly but any money I may receive brings me that little bit closer to achieving my dream....and as they say - every penny counts!!

In return I will give you all weekly updates on how all the FUNdraising is going (see what I did there?!) what I've been up to , and also news and info on all the events that I have got lined up between now and August 2010....Looks like I'm in for one busy year! Bring it on!!!!!

Once again thanks to everyone who is backing me, I really am grateful for all the support and quite overwhelmed by the amount of interest and response I have received.... so muchos gracias :)

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=7990042

The American Dream

Hey everyone!

So this is my first ever post on my first ever blog site :)

Still don't fully understand the whole blogging thing but I'm sure it won't take me long to suss it all out!

So I set up this blog to keep everyone updated on what I've been up to and to hopefully get some fundraising help/ideas for my 'big apple' shaped adventure...

In April 2009 I was lucky enough to get called to audition for one of the world's best drama school's- The New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts.

http://www.sft.edu.com/

The audition was tough and I later found out that they audition 5000 people worldwide, with only 180 places to offer!

So the odds were high and if I'm completely honest I was over the moon that they even wanted to see me.

After the audition I was told that it could take up to two weeks for me to find out if I'd got a place or not...TWO WEEKS!!

Those were the longest two weeks of my life.

On Saturday 9th May at 8.50 pm I got a call

(I had just finished working a long day as a make-up artist on Oxford Street, had been out the night before so was feeling generally tired/hungover/cranky and was on the slowest train back home)

There was an American voice on the other end of the phone and it took me a while to register who it was- it was Kathy the lovely lady who saw me audition.

I prepared myself for the worst, thinking it's ok I can audition next year, practising in my head my best 'I'm-not-a-sore-loser-thankful-that-you-even-gave-me-a-chance-to-audition' voice!

So I was in complete shock when she asked me how I would like to come live in New York studying on their two year acting for film and television course!! AMAZING!!

(And yes I did jump up and down on the train like a crazy woman!!)

So initially I was meant to start the first semester on 26th August 2009, which meant that I had roughly 3 months to try to get funding. This is where the bad news comes in...for me to study over there for two years will cost me- get ready for it- a grand total of roughly £60'000 or $100'000!!!!!

Suffice to say I didn't manage to get the money in time :(

BUT... I have been told that they will hold me a place for next year :)

(which in itself is amazing because drama schools never normally do this).

Ok so that's A LOT of money to raise in one year but where there's a will there's a way.

Realistically I just need to find 60'000 people who would be willing to lend me £1 each....

So this outlines my quest in pursuit of my American dream and my lifelong ambition of becoming an oscar winning actress (that's the ultimate dream!)

I'm hoping to organise some fun money raising events and if anyone has any suggestions of people who could help/ that I could write to/ or if you're just interested then drop me an email!

Not bad for my first post I think- although I'll try not to make it as long next time!!