'Somewhere In Between'

“Finding people who think the way you think. Finding people who inspire you to think beyond the way you think now. Friends who don’t let you settle. Friends who help you discover new things and who you’d like to be in the future. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for?

For most artists, there is a degree of aloneness to childhood. You are the bright shining child full of ideas and art and you soon learn that not many other people see the world as you do. Hopefully, you avoided this often painful discovery. If not, you learned to dim yourself a bit in order to fit in with the rest.

Now…it’s time to shine. Stop trying to fit in. There is no need to do this anymore.” - Eileen Connolly, Faculty NYCDA.

I’ve sneakily taken these first few paragraphs from the NYCDA’S blog so my first thanks goes to them!

I found this really interesting when I read it and anyone else who is of creative mind might feel it relates to them too- I know I certainly felt that it was written for me and gives me reassurance that there are other people who think the same way as I do…a bit cliché maybe, but its motivational nonetheless...so in my entry this week I am going to go slightly transparent, just for a while, wear my heart on my sleeve and give an insight into how I really feel…well….maybe...just a little bit...!!

The past couple of weeks have been fairly busy for myself as usual but it’s also been a period of reflection for me too- particularly this week, so forgive me if I ramble as I suppose I’m using this latest entry as a ‘note to self’ but maybe others might find it interesting too :)

In relation to Eileen Connolly’s entry- unfortunately I did not ‘avoid this painful discovery’ instead I tried to fit in with my surroundings and the people around me because I was ‘different’ and was made aware of it on a regular basis. Now, as I’ve got older I’ve learnt that being different is what makes me who I am and I’m thankful that I’m not like anyone else and that I still haven’t given up on my dream and my ambition for the sake of what other people think.

I must admit though that I do find it frustrating when I talk to people who have never known what they’ve wanted to do with their lives and who have no dream. I find it quite disheartening that I can’t understand how it is for them and realise how they must feel when I talk about the things that I want to do, knowing that they can’t understand how it feels to want something as bad as I want to follow my ambition of becoming a successful movie star :)

Take for example a conversation that I had with someone this week, it went as follows:

“So the acting things really cool, I like how even though you’re working such long hours to save up and stuff that you’re still trying to get castings and meetings with agents.

I’m sooo jealous.

Ya know I’ve done some modelling but that like never really worked out…I mean it’s really competitive there’s just no point is there?

Maybe I’ll go into acting, I mean it can’t be that hard can it?

So now the New York things kinda fallen through….

(This was followed by a VERY unimpressed look from myself)

….I mean, I know you like, still wanna go and stuff- and I’m sure you will, but like, shouldn’t you be trying to get a career now? ‘Cause you’re 22- should be climbing a career ladder or something now, right??!”

The funny thing was that this person said this very innocently and I don’t believe they meant anything by it but they managed to disregard my profession and all I’ve ever wanted to do in one sentence! I do actually love it when people say things like this though, because it only makes me want to prove them wrong even more!

It also goes to show that this person will never make it if they go into the industry with that attitude- I wish them the best of luck.

I remember back when I was at college, our drama tutor at the time told us that 90% of actors are out of work….my answer to this was- so who’s to say that I won’t be in that 10%??

I know that a lot of my actor friends are getting disheartened with the lack of auditions and jobs around at the moment.

Due to the recession like most things- the entertainment industry has been hit hard :(
To these friends- keep the faith, the motivation, and we will one day be in that 10%!

So this week was pretty eventful, I had a casting for a commercial (although I can’t say which brand it was for!) But I will say that the proposed buy out fee that they are offering the chosen actress would help significantly towards my New York fund!

I’m still waiting to hear back so if everyone keeps their fingers crossed for me then I would be most grateful!

I’m still working my long 7-6 shifts at New Look which is tough but it’s all good money and I do actually like my job so it could be worse!

Still working hard on customising clothing for people- get in touch if you want anything done/made- remember Christmas is not too far off!!

And next week I have a make-up job so it’s all go at the moment, but to be honest I don’t think I’d have it any other way!!

And finally…..

In Eileen’s entry she writes:

“Finding people who think the way you think. Finding people who inspire you to think beyond the way you think now.”

It is only now, as I am writing, that I realise that in just the last 2 weeks I have seen/spent time with all the people who I count as close friends- some who I see regularly and some who I don’t see as much as I’d like, but who have all believed and never doubted me- the people who inspire me to think beyond the way I think now :)

This blog is a dedication to all of these friends and to the people who continually offer me their support, interest and encouragement, so a massive thanks to you all!

Much Love,

Emily